Another wasted half hour...
Mood:  irritated
I hate Sterling Memorial Library.

Notwithstanding that it one of the most majestic buildings on campus; regardless of the fact that is my favorite place to study; as a library (ie, for checking out actual books) it is worthless.

Three times I have tried to get a book from there and three times it hasn't been where it's supposed to be. I never have this problem at the Kline science library. Grrrr.

Philosophering
I had always assumed that every person tries to be the best person they can be, but apparently this isn't the case. Kate acknowledges that she never admits she's wrong. She mentioned that she would be a "better person" if she didn't do this, but that she doesn't want to because it wouldn't be her. She feels like it would be changing her character, which is a valid point I hadn't considered. I had always felt that changing your character is okay if you're improving it. I gave the analogy of sports: you want to be better at a certain position because it's better for the team and you feel better about it, so you practice. Of course you change as a player when you do this, but that's a good thing rather than a compromise of integrity. Kate said she felt uncomfortable trying to be "better," and pushing yourself in sports is always uncomfortable.

Of course, what "better" is is subject to one's own standards, but I wonder if Kate or I am (to quote the GOP-FOX bloc) "out of the mainstream" on this. Do people want to be the best person they can be, or do they have different standards for themselves compared to others?

Random non-ethical stuff:

There are more opportunities to go to swing states the weekend before the election. Kate and I are considering going together. We haven't done anything fun together in a while, and this election is so much more important than anything else!

I have a midterm tomorrow. Pleh.

If Bush wins the election I'll probably stop eating.

Pleh.

Going Upriver

John Kerry is great. I don't know how anyone can vote for Bush. I wish I could make intelligent, rational comments on this, but it is so obvious.

This is a very good film, and not only as propaganda but also as a picture of a movement. It's so scary how we are reliving the 60s. I do wish Kerry hadn't voted for the Iraq war. It hadn't bothered me much before, but now it does.

But no matter. It is a different situation, after all. He is such a strong, brave, moral, person.

I am so scared for this election. The days now are short. Either our hope cometh, or all hope's end.

Kerry It On, Kerry It On
Mood:  cool
Yesterday I went to Pennsylvania with a busful of Democrats to spread the good word about John Kerry. It was great. Getting out of New Haven is really refreshing, especially to a new part of the country. There are so many trees in Pennsylvania, and many of them were brilliantly orange.We knocked on doors and encountered a slew of strange characters, not the least of which was our own driver. Being in a middle class suburban Eastern neightboorhood in October hit me with a strange sense of deja vu -- this was the image of fall emnblazoned on my memory from childhood books and movies, I guess. The pumpkins on the doorsteps looked comfortable. I'm rethinking my decision to return to the West when this is all over. Seasons are wonderful. I downloaded a bunch of Christmas songs today. I'm getting ahead of myself, but there just aren't a lot of Thanksgiving songs, much less Halloween ones.

I was struck by the number of people who claimed they were truly undecided. How is this possible? These two could not be more different. I do think I convinced a couple of these uncertain types to give Kerry a good look. I felt like what I was doing was so important that I was able to forget about schoolwork for a whole afternoon. Alas, it was still there when I got home :)

If Kerry wins the elcetion, I'm going to be the most happy person on earth. Well, maybe tied with about half the country.

Three for Three
Kerry won tonight's debate without a doubt. It was not a through flogging of the President like the first one, but I feel the Senator seemed more assured than he did Friday night. He particularly nailed the sticky questions like abortion, faith, and gay marriage. I hereby propose a toast to the lovely fall that is now upon us, and to the hope of another fall to come -- that of the Bush regime!

I Love Fall / I'm less stressed
Mood:  a-ok
I love fall. Today was so beautiful. I took some pictures, but when I really wanted my camera in the morning I didn't have it. I just finished my ceramics paper earlier than I had planned, which makes me happy. I don't know if I should catch up on sleep, work, exercises (tomorrow), or socializing. Oh I know what I'll do -- I'll go to the bank tomorrow.

I think next semester I will have to cut back on my extra fluff. Of course, next semester my classes will be entirely different - maybe I won't even take five. In any case, the election will be over, so I don't see much point in actively Dem-ing. As for Climate, it's less crucial, and I need a break. I might take one after this Day of Action next Tuesday. Church is lovely but unnecessary, especially this time of year when I'm surrounded by god every day (red leaves!! yay!!). Tai Chi is taught on a per-semester basis, so depending on how I feel at the end of this term and how different the spring class would be, I might or might not continue. I really like working at the Peabody. I went there today to learn about the fossil cart specimens that I get to share with people, and it made me feel so young and happy and carefree. I think I would like to work in a museum at some point. So I won't give that up. I can't and don't want to give up WordTrader, and it's a very low commitment anyway.

So that's it. Basically, I'm phasing out the campaigning. I've learned that campaigning is a euphemism for annoying other people, and I really feel bad when I do that anyway.

Did I mention I love fall?

Aaaaaahhhhhhh
Buried under an endless barrage of work. Digging out of a hole that keeps filling back up. Feeling like free time really, really does not exist, an not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Becoming a hollow work machine. Part of the problem is I need to learn to work more efficiently. Things will get easier when the election and our Climate day of action are over, but not much easier. A lot of my suitemates also feel like this semester is the craziest yet. I guess that's what happens when you take on extra activities and start advanced classes. Soooooo glad not in TUIB. What was I thinking???? I defintely can't get out of any of my activities next semester either. Looks like I'm never going to church again. It'd be nice to be able to go to a play, though...

Here's the deal for tomorrow, an exceptionally bad day. Class from 9 to 11:30. Lunch. Class from 1 to 2:15. Peabody at 3. Movie screening at 7 for Lit. Tai Chi at 8:30. 9:30 to 1 am, write a paper and prepare for my ceramics presentation.

Dude, where's my life?

The Joy of Being Single
Mood:  not sure
I've had such a rough and mixed-up weekend. Along with bucketloads of work and emotional stress, I now have a guy who likes me and whom I (cruelly or foolishly) led on and got involved with. I let him know that I can't commit to a relationship and he was so nice about it, and still wants to do "a dinner date, maybe a movie..." Well where does one draw the line between dating and a relationship, and when, in this age of instant gratification, does one stop being single? I have recently said that "I believe in true love, but not for me." Now I just feel like a closed-minded, self-absorbed person with commitment issues and a martyr complex. I really, really, really don't want to give up my status as single. The again, we all have needs, and this guy is just sweet. How much is too much?

I'm never going to parties again. They only cause trouble.

Doing good things is fun.
A few days ago I was washing my hands in the bathroom of the Sterling library basement when I noticed a silver and sapphire ring on the shelf above the sink. Instinctually, I picked it up and tried it on. It was slightly too big but looked very nice, and I thought about leaving it there but worried that someone might take it. I tore out a page of my notebook and made a sign with my contact info, figuring that whoever lost it would come back. Finally I got a call today from a woman who worked in the library and had lost it. She was so, so happy that I had it, and she gave me a hug when I returned it to her. That felt good. I like doing good things. Furthermore, years of Tolkien fandom have made me very wary of keeping strange rings around. Yay.

Is Bush Wired?
This might not be true, but I hope it is. A rumor is circulating that President Bush might have had an electronic device that allowed, say, Karl Rove to speak into his ear during the first debate. This theory has been reported in such websites as New York Indie Media and even has its own site, www.isbushwired.com.

The evidence for this is surprisingly substantive. First, Bush has been known to have used earpiece prompters before, albeit not in situations where it would have been a scandal. Since he is dyslexic and has trouble reading from a teleprompter, he has replaced visula aids with auditory ones in speeches.

Then there is the odd pre-debate agreement not to show shots of the candidates from the back. Bush aparently made a big deal out of this. Why? Well, it turns out Bush didn't get his wish -- he was filmed from behind, and this produced some interesting photos:


He has a boxlike lump in his jacket. Hm. This is even more convincing on video.

Finally, there is the matter of Bush's debate style. As we saw in his comparatively strong (although still outdone by Kerry, I feel) performance last night, Bush doesn't always speak in the halting, distracted manner of last Thursday's debate. I was shocked to see how out of it he looked during the first matchup, but the strangest part was about 40 minutes into the debate, when Bush said "Let me finish" to -- whom? Neither Kerry nor the moderator had interrupted him, and he had plenty of time left to go as no red lights were flashing on his podium. What could possibly have prompted (pun intended) him to say that unless he were talking to the voices in his head?