What I Really Want
Mood:  happy
Did anyone actually believe I was going to get into TUIB? Honestly, I think I was more in love with the idea of it than the reality. I'm not good at perfoming. What I really need is a small, art-oriented group. I've decided to start a creative writing workshopping group, since I can't think of anything more fun. We could meet at a cafe and discuss eachother's work, very Iowa-esque! The only thing I'm strugling with is how to limit the size to 15 people or so while still having it be non-exclusive. I'm getting more and more excited about my writing just thinking about this!

The days go by so slowly...
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: "I Fought In a War," Belle and Sebastian
The sweet sweet agony of waiting for Tuib results. I have been over-analyzing everything. I have not been very good about sugar consumption since last night, mostly as a result of stress, but I am beginning to think I will get called back and am going to be very strict about it the next few days. Plus, I really need to eat better in general. I've gotten pretty strong from weights and Tai Chi, but I really need to cut down on junk. My roommates are sick of hearing me talk about Tuib. Claudia has decided my current emotional state is most akin to "lovesick." I'm in the sighing-after-boy-and-wondering-if-he-will-call phase. Except said boy has been replaced by a singing group.

There's so much drama going on across the hall. I'm so glad I don't have a boyfriend. I'll take a singing group any day.

GAAAAAAghhhahhfhhfhaididjijddfreakingnervousnessisstillheregaaaaa
Mood:  sharp
Now Playing: Nothing, only echoes of my TUIB audition
I am so, so ,so jittery when I should be relieved. (Note: There is no mood icon for "jittery," or even "nervous," nor is there one for "relieved." I only chose "sharp" because I sang House of the Rising Sun a half step higher than TUIB actually sings it. Get it? It's a pun. If anything this is a good thing.)

So how did it go? I'm still having difficulty typing. I wish I had done worse, in some ways, because now I've tricked half my brain (and worse, half my heart) into thinking I have a shot, when in reality I probably don't. Basically, it went fine.

I was slightly put off by the fact that the order of things went warmup-quartet-solo rather than warmup-solo-quartet. This messed me up because based on my warmup, the Tuibsters assigned me an alto part for the quartet, which is (a) harder for me to do in my current vocal state (b) harder for me to do while blending, since I either have a weakish alto or a powerful alto, the latter of which would have been too strong to use, I think, and (c) harder to do because I wanted to be sure I was ready to hit the high notes of my solo. The quartet went fine, but if I'd been prepared for it I'd have done better, I think.

The solo went well. I'm sure I was trembling uncontrollably, and I stopped a verse from the end because of a passing siren, but I never really faltered. It wasn't flawless, but I think they were quite impressed. In that sense, I'm glad it was last. They might interpret my earlier hesitation and nervous banter as pure nerves, which is mostly true. The girl before me really wasn't good at all (yay for eavesdropping), so I felt ok. Unfortunately, I have no idea if I handled the rhythm well at all, since I was too nervous to notice. Why am I such a stressball? I hope that practicing the song so much pulled me through.

I'm so nervous because we hear about callbacks at the end of the whole freaking week! I would say that getting called back is a serious possibility, since they were likely left with a positive but tentative impression of me. My strategy is to prepare an alto piece so they can hear what it was they wanted to hear from me last time.

If I were certain I would not get called back, I would resume my consumption of caffeine, dairy, and dessert. But of course I have to give myself an A minus, and that means I have to work harder than ever until I know for sure.

A side note: Emily's boyfriend Nick, who is an accomplished pianist, asked me what I was auditioning for. When I told him he said, "Oh really? I didn't know they had auditions. I thought they just took anyone who came." I really wanted to hit him, but I didn't.

Tangled Up In Doom
My voice felt better this morning, but has since gotten a little rougher. I'm so distracted right now and I can't focus. I wish I didn't have to audition tomorrow! Aaaaaahhhhh! I especially wish I didn't have to do a presentation in class tomorrow, which will wear out my voice. I found out that I have to do a warm up and warm down at the audition, which I hate because I sound really bad warming up. My range doesn't work that way. I guess that's because I'm not a very good singer. It'll be so nice when this is over.

Folkin' Amazing...
Just in from the New Haven Folk Festival, featuring Arlo Guthrie and our very own TUIB. Arlo was great, and had some the best stage banter I'd ever seen. He was hilarious! He told wonderul, silly stories about his songs and his dad and the president...ah. The concert was so long! I'm exhausted. There were two groups that performed between TUIB and Arlo, and they were good. In fact, one of them was amazing -- Four Bitchin' Babes. They were all mothers who have had solo careers and came together to form this group, and their lyrics were extremely humorous. I wish I had a brain cell left to remember some examples. Well, it was awesome. It was supposed to be outside in a park but got moved to the middle school auditorium (much nicer than any high school auditorium I'd ever seen, by the way) due to Ivan fallout. It was so rainy this morning! I was afraid to go outside!

There are two concerts I want to go to next week at Toad's (Dar Williams and They Might Be Giants), but I think I should rest my voice as much as possible. I met two more people who are trying out for TUIB. Endurance beyond hope, that's all I've got. :)

Good night.

Peabody's not-so-Improbable (Natural) History
Now Playing: "Bug," Phish
Have you ever had a job interview and been interrupted by a phone call saying your interviewer's house alarm went off and the police have arrived? Neither had I until this afternoon. I went to the Peabody to talk about volunteer opportunities with the director and she had to go home all of a sudden because her house had apparently been broken into! She was oddly cheery about it. We were virtually done with the interview, so it was okay.

But aside from the conversation's wierd conclusion, it was productive. To spare you the details, I'm going to be volunteering at least one day a week, probably with the fossil cart talking to visitors. It's a low time-committment, fun job. Walking tours are basically booked through November, but there's no reason I couldn't do that in the future as well. I'm also helping out at some public events, beginning with the kids' giant squid event next Sunday. The whole thing is relatively relaxed and easily moldable to my own schedule. I'm so happy! This seems perfect for me.

The Schedule From Heaven
Mood:  lucky
Now Playing: Nothing. I'm in the library
Every Tuesday and Tursday I get out of Music class at 11:20. The Berkeley College Dining Hall (read: healthier, much tastier organic food) opens at 11:30. They only admit the first ten students who show up without a friend from Berkeley to host them. This means me, since Music meets about a minute away. I just finished a ham, turkey, provolone, and roasted tomato sandwich on a ciabatta roll with pesto mayo (I could have sworn I was at Atticus) and an heirloom tomato salad.

I love my life.

Why Does My Mood Icon Always Say Caffeinated? And How Is That A Mood?
Mood:  caffeinated
Yesterday my voice was tired and I felt like I might be getting sick, so I took the advice of the all-knowing Anny and got a good sleep. Anny also advised me to avoid dairy and caffeine before an audition. I broke my promise to myself and had Diet Vanilla Coke before my oral presentation today, which always enhances my ability to speak and think quickly. Isn't that amazing? It really is -- although an intense caffeine buzz combined with nervousness sometimes reminds me of final exams, which in turn increases said nervousness. I had less to regret about the coke than I thought, though, since it turns out my audition could be almost two weeks away! Apparently it's a long process.

The ceramics presentation went very well, although there was a minor fiasco into which I will not delve involving printing the accompanying paper. With any luck, it will all be fine. I have another presentation tomorrow, which means more little coffee cups at the top of the screen. Yay for stimulants.

My Lit professor is hilarious. Here is an example from seminar today:"I must protest about your denegration of [Sherlock] Holmes' erotic nature." That is a quality quotation right there. Qual-it-y.

Rejected and neglected, yet entirely unaffected
I did not get into the Center for British Art, but Kate did! Yay! That actually makes me even happier. The Peabody is mine. I knew she got in as soon as I saw my rejection email. I am starting to truly believe I have minor psychic powers.

Is third time the charm? Anny says I get first dibs on audition times for TUIB because she's making the schedule. Pray pray pray!

Jedi Training
I had my first Tai Chi class today! It was great. I know some people in the class, which was relatively large. The instructor was a man around 60 who proclaimed himself "better than the books." Well, I should hope so. I feel so good and relaxed now. We learned a few basic postures and did some partner work in an excersize called "Push Hands," which isn't excatly what it sounds like. My quads and arms will be quite strong by the time this is over, I'm guessing.